Musings about Cheese Cake

I just found a recipe online for a 100 calorie 'fake' cheese cake (non-fat cheese, sweetener, applesauce, all blended together with no baking.... you know the deal). I was so excited, until I realised it would have no crust. The crust is my favourite bit! Well, from what I can remember......the last time I ate cheese cake must have been almost a decade ago. It was then that I realised that real cheese cake was what I really wanted.  According to 'Intuitive Eating' if I want the cheese cake now, I should eat it now (if, of course, it's available) and the last thing I should do is try to cheat by eating 'fake' cheese cake which will just leave me feeling dissatisfied and denied.


But I have to admit that I'm just not there yet. So instead I made a promise to myself that one day I will eat real cheese cake again, even if just once.The problem is that, at the moment, I can't imagine when I'll be able to make 'one day', today. And yet the idea of denying myself even just one slice of cheese cake forever seems absurd! What a silly thing to forgo in life, afterall! Will I go to my grave still craving and denying myself cheese cake? With my last breath will I think, 'Wow, I sure wish I'd eaten some cheese cake once in a while!'. I certainly hope that, if I have regrets, they're more meaningful than that.