13 Jan 2011

Eating proper meals

I had to eat dinner on the hoof last night as I was meeting a friend for an early film showing, so I decided to grab a mocrowavable meal. I decided on an Innocent Veg Pot - about 300 calories of vegetable deliciousness in a mocrowavable pot. I thought I'd be fine, as not so long ago that was a perfectly filling supper for me, that I probably wouldn't have topped off with more than a yogurt or so. However, by the time I got home from the cinema I was ravenous. One of the scariest things I've found about recovering is regaining a decent apetite. While I was dieting, I guess my stomach must have shrunk, so tiny meals could keep me feeling fullish.....but not any more. I've been eating normal portions for a while now, so little dieters meals won't keep me satisfied. I ended up snacking on a yogurt and cereal after I'd got in last night, but even that proved to be insufficient and I woke up at 2.30am ravenously hungry and had to eat more cereal. It made me feel out-of-control and panicy, but I knew I'd have to eat to be able to sleep again. I don't want to find myself in that position again but, the alternative is equally scary - binning dieters meals for good, even on days when I'm feeling weak or out-of-control and  want the comfort of reverting to old behaviours, for just one meal.

The Veg Pots were selling on a 2-4-1 offer, so I have another one awaiting me in my fridge back home. I'm seeing it as a challenge - I'll have to find a way to eat it that won't involve reverting to old habits that leave me sleepless with hunger pangs. I could add some chickpeas and cheese to it to bulk it out or follow it with a substantial pudding, like a rice pudding or flapjack. However, both of these options will involve admitting to myself that my body's changed and right now that feels like a very scary truth to face.

1 comment:

  1. It's scary for me, too, to think that these kinds of meals used to fill me up and now they do almost nothing for me!
    But you're right that you need to add things to it. I read your latest post about adding the rice pudding, and I think that was a really smart idea :) I'm proud of you! You know that you need more than just 300 calories to keep your body healthy! You can do this! Keep it up :)
    <3 Haley

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